According to research about English fatties and general fatness–people in the UK will consume on average 7000 calories on Christmas day this year. I will be a willing participant as well as a perpetrator of this consumption. England is a fat fatty fat country and people LOVE their treats, and their booze, oh and their sausages–NEVER FORGET ABOUT SAUSAGES!
To get into the holiday spirit I spent the afternoon making some Christmas chocolates for the next few days that will be spent with my boyfriend’s family–my UK family. My NON JEWISH family that has enabled me to live out the childhood fantasy of wishing OUR family celebrated Christmas! Now I do!
The more shameful aspects of Xmas haven’t been lost on me: the drones of greasy faced fatties non-stop shopping day in and day out until December 24th; the abhorrent waste of wrapping paper and plastic bags; the over-consumption of sugar, booze and starch. But this is only my 5th Christmas and I still love it. I also made a vow to myself to not worry about sugar intake or the hopeless state of the environment.
Okay on with it. Here is a really really EASY way to make professional tasting chocolate truffles!
What you’ll need:
- Approximately 200 grams of dark chocolate
- 2/3 cup of cream (I used double cream)
- 2 tablespoons of butter
- At least 4 bags of earl grey tea
- A bit of powdered cocoa
What to do:
In a small saucepan,warm the cream and butter up, steeping the tea bags. Press down on the tea bags so the tea infuses the cream. Meanwhile break the dark chocolate up into small pieces in another bowl. When the cream has become darker from the tea, bring to a low simmer and then pour the cream over the chocolate and stir very well.
When you have a lovely creamy chocolatey cream, put the bowl in the fridge and leave in there for at least an hour.
When the chocolate mixture has hardened, prepare a small plate with cocoa powder on it. Now it’s time to work fast! The colder the chocolate is, the firmer it is therefore obviously easier to work with. Using measuring spoons, scoop out little “balls” of chocolate, roll it in the powder and transfer to a plate. Most truffle recipes online will show their truffles in perfect little round balls–I don’t know how this is done, and frankly I couldn’t care less. I think oddly shaped truffles are sexier anyway!
Okay next–Chocolate Bark: Officially the easiest and most delicious thing you could ever make really.
What you’ll need:
- Approximately 200-400 grams of dark chocolate–broken up into pieces
- Optional toppings: white chocolate (100 grams) peppermint candies or smashed up candy canes, nuts, dried fruits etc. sea salt, cookie crumbs–the possibilities are endless!
What to do:
Prepare a baking tray with enough parchment paper to come up over the sides. In a saucepan bring some water to boil and using a double boiler, or metal bowl, melt the dark chocolate until it’s smooth. Then pour the chocolate onto the parchment paper and use a spatula to smooth down.
Sprinkle with selected toppings. Put back into the fridge until firm and then break up into pieces. Put it in a little pretty box and give it out as a gift! Or consume all that sugar on your own my friend, it’s your choices. It’s effing Christmas–do what you want.